Chronic Illness

  It’s crazy that it has been 5 years since I have typed anything in to this BLOGSPOT, because the amount of journaling I have done in the note section of my iPhone is 5 years could fill a book! 

We all know that COVID started in 2020, and from there began a whirlwind of changes for me health-wise. Prior to this, 2017, I competed in a bikini competition, then continued to weight train and run through 2020. When businesses and gyms began to close their doors and shelter-in-place began, it would become harder to train at the caliber I was used to. Eventually, I started to notice that my joints were hurting more than usual and that my hair was thinning rapidly. 

Then, in February 1, 2022 my father in law noticed I had a headache that had lasted a few days. For some reason this stuck out to me, and I couldn’t shake it. The next day, I noticed the headache was still there, and then the next. By the following week, when the headache had been with me non-stop without letting up, I knew something wasn’t right. I demanded my doctor order an MRI immediately. Within a month I had seen my primary, a neurologist, an ENT, an ophthalmologist, a rheumatologist, an endocrinologist and a psychiatrist (we’ll get to that later!). I’m not sure how much detail people want at this point, and I also don’t anticipate to make sure I complete some blog posts, so I will cut through all the details and tell you that after 5 years of symptoms which included;

• Chronic Daily Headache

• Joint pain

• Hair loss/Thinning

• Extreme Fatigue/Exhaustion 

• Brain Fog

• Memory Loss

• Facial Numbness/Tingling 

• Finger Cysts

• Swelling in Lower Ankles/Extremities 

• Dizziness/Light headed

• Dry mouth/eyes

• Blurry Vision 

• Heart Palpitations 

• Chronic Sore Throat 

• Swollen Lymph Nodes

• Numb/Tingling Hands/Feet Extremities 

• Rashes/Itching Skin 

• Acne-like breakouts on face/scalp and in nose

Seems like a LOT, and right?! I even went to my gynecologist asking her and my primary care physician to run a full blood panel, knowing that my own mother had started perimenopause in her early 40’s and I could also be experiencing symptoms of perimenopause. Both of my doctors DISMISSED this as a possibility!!!! They told me I was TOO YOUNG to be in perimenopause! Eventually I came across an add on TikTok for Hone that offered to read my blood work to see if I was in perimenopause  the initial report said I was (without a doubt) in perimenopause and possibly past that! I never even got to the point of speaking with one of their doctors (I think they encourage you to buy their hormone replacement therapy), because at this point t I was validated that I could possibly be in perimenopause.

Isn’t it crazy that doctors don’t believe a woman could be 44 and be in the process of a physiological change?! 

Anyways, I had so much more to write about all the things I have actually been diagnosed with. All the “chronics” which they call them. Luckily, I was also cleared of many things (autoimmune mostly!) along the way, which is great news, so I will talk about that as well.

Some of the things I hope to discuss in the following posts are;

• My history with headaches

• my mom’s autoimmune 

• my tests to eliminate autoimmune 

• my tests to eliminate autonomic 

• my current ana test

• my chronic fatigue syndrome 

• my chronic sore throat/lymph nodes 

• Raynaud’s 

• Rheumatoid Arthritis 

• Sleep Test

Let me know if there is anything else you want me to cover that I forgot! 

Xo Shan 

Putting Myself First

Approximately 15 hand written journal entries, a couple blog posts, and no less than half a dozen Instagram drafts since the beginning of March. Honestly, I struggled with what my message was, what conversations I wanted to begin and how I wanted to motivate and inspire those that see my posts... Then it hit me.  I have been unable to articulate my intentions to the World Wide Web, because I had forgotten to focus on my own intentions and self motivation FIRST. 

Change, for me, has never come from following certain Instagram influencers.  Change has to be a desire that burns inside, and somehow that desire has become a wildfire inside me these days. I have been careful to alter anything with my diet and exercise, as I have been doing so well mentally and physically over the past two years, but when something happens naturally I allow my body to guide me where it wants to go. 

The beginning of this wildfire must have been started when I came across #30DaysofYoga with @AdrieneLouise on Comcast of all places. I have attempted several workout videos and self guided routines since the #Coronavirus took off and closed gyms and all other nonessential businesses, but none of them made me roll out of bed and eager to begin the way Adriene did. I am not new to the practice of Yoga, although I would consider myself a #newbie. I started prenatal yoga when I was pregnant with Grayson 14 years ago, and that’s actually when I invested in my amazing @JadeYogaMats. I remember my husband Hooman encouraging me to buy the mat, and I’m pretty sure it’s only seen about 30 classes max! Bikram yoga, Vinyasa Flow, Yin, and stretching, I always love yoga classes, but have noticed I’m drawn more to the instructor. A good instructor makes all the difference, and that is exactly what happened for me. Adriene has a calm voice, a cute dog and occasionally likes to #KeepItWeird as she says... right up my alley! So far I am only 2 weeks in to my 30 days of #Yoga, but am confident that I will finish and can’t let another post opportunity pass me by. When I feel strongly about something, I like to share it. Not all things work for everyone, but sometimes a good referral or review can point one person in the direction they didn’t realize they needed. Perhaps that is you? 

Along with the power of yoga, I have started other self healing steps to help connect the body and mind. Listening to my body and being intuitive to what it needs has escaped me for too long, and I am eager to see a new journey unfold. Slowly uncovering all the changes with everyone as I really get some time under my belt. 

How has the epidemic and Stay-at-Home requirements changed you and your daily routines? Have you struggled with the lack of social interactions?  The gyms not being available? Have you taken the unprecedented situation and turned it into opportunity? Are you waiting for your motivation and guidance still? 

Whatever your current situation may be, remember self care should be priority before caring for others. 

Happy Independence Day to everyone. Make it a great day! 

Xo Shan

I’m here!

I have 14 drafts saved in my blogger profile! ...and they all range within the last two years! Needless to say, I’ve had things to post, but am a huge over thinker and decide against anything I’ve written. So, this is my very short post to say that I’m here!! I have a lot to say, and so much going on, but think I better get this thing going or I just might implode from draft overloads! Hope everyone is surviving this crazy and unprecedented time. I’ll be back soon! Scouts honor!

NEDAwareness Week

Well, here I am, attempting to blog. What better way to kick off an almost two year hiatus than during National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. The goal of #NEDAwareness Week is to shine the spotlight on eating disorders and put life-saving resources into the hand of those in need. This year's theme is It's Time to Talk About It and that's exactly what my intentions are with today's important blog post. For those that have never suffered from an eating disorder, you probably wonder why someone would subject themselves to limited calorie intake, over eating or even purging, but the reality is, eating disorders are controlling, just like alcoholism, drug abuse or smoking. The difference with an eating disorder, is you are not able to just quit eating. You cannot go to rehab, change your environment or group of friends and hope you never come in contact with food again. Everyone must eat, and in order to fully recover, you must learn to live a life WITH your trigger still a main focus. Imagine telling an alcoholic that they don't need to stop drinking, just adjust to a healthier relationship with alcohol! No! You wouldn't do that, so you can see why having an eating disorder is a total mental mind fuck. My eating disorder started in 2002. I was adjusting to a single life after a break-up and working as a manager for Bank of America. I worked long days. Matter of fact, I preferred to work as many hours as I possibly could. I would start my day with coffee, and typically grab a second coffee during lunch hours. After work I would grab drinks with friends and eventually get fast food at late hours. I was sleeping only 5ish hours a night. This went on for months. My weight started to drop, and other people started to notice how my work slacks were becoming baggy. I didn't see it as a problem and would just buy smaller pants. I went from a 10 to an 8 and then a 6. By the time I was wearing a 4 and eventually a 2, my mom started asking if I was okay. She accused me of purging after meals, but the reality was, I just wasn't eating enough. She pointed out that someone who was 5'10" probably should weigh more than 130lbs. Still, I didn't see it. I was actually angry that she would accuse me of throwing my food up. Then on 4th of July in 2003, I went to a party with friends. It was a potluck and I couldn't stop eating all the delicious foods my friends had made. I remember how sick I felt on the car ride home, and as soon as they dropped me off, I tossed my cookies. The next day I couldn't eat at all. This was around the same time I had become friends with my (now) husband. He noticed I hadn't eaten the day before, so he bought me a huge lunch. I was hungry, so I scarfed everything down. You can imagine how sick I felt, and somehow I remember the relief I had gotten the day before, so that is when my vicious cycle began. One day I would barely eat, and the next I would over eat (binge). This went on for years. Often unnoticed by others. Matter of fact, I had put some weight on my thin frame, and my mom stopped accusing me of throwing up. My disorder was controlling me, but it was also something that no one could control for me. No one really knew, and if they did, how could they stop me? My binging and purging took a back seat for sometime during both pregnancies. It was during this time that I felt comfortable talking about it for the first time with my family. I think since I had some recovery under my belt I could get it off my chest. Of course this just made for more concern and speculation, especially from my mom. Finally in September 2016, I finally hit rock bottom with my disorder. I was throwing up 2-5 times a day, and stopping at the grocery store to buy pints of ice cream to devour in hiding. I woke up on September 22nd, my husband's birthday, and couldn't hold it together. I was weak and worn out. I couldn't get through my work-out and didn't want to ruin my husband's day with my roller coaster of emotions. I called my mom and confessed how bad it had been for months. I don't know exactly what has kept me in recovery mode since that day, but I have over five months clean and continue to fight for my health every single day. There are days that are easier than others, but every day I eat and almost every day I have to think about what kind of relationship I want to have with food. It is difficult and there have definitely been days that I still stand in the pantry and eat several cookies in one sitting, but I remind myself of how I felt that morning in September and know I don't want to be there again, so I will do whatever i takes to not go back there. I am a huge advocate for loving yourself and body positivity, but the truth is, even I have days that I don't like my body. I try to love everything about it, but I refuse to let these minor setbacks trigger other issues. I know I will suffer from this demon for the rest of my life, but I also know I am a fighter. I will not give up, and hopefully I can help someone else with my story. If you, or someone you know, suffers form an eating disorder, call the national helpline at 1 (800) 931-2237 or visit www.nedawareness.org xo Shan

I'm bacccccck! 👋🏽

Hi! Are you still with me? If you are, bravo! I have starting working on a new project and figured it would be a great time to revamp my blog and get it up to date. I will be putting pen to paper and releasing all of my recent ideas, recipes and workouts soon!!! Stay tuned! Xo Shan

Peanut Free Protein Balls

What do you do when you find a box of stale cereal? Usually I would throw it away, but being that I was hungry and in a creative mood, I decided to make protein bars. Halfway through mixing ingredients, I realized the consistency was perfect for no bake protein power balls instead, so that is exactly what we ended up with! 

Here are the simple ingredients;

4 servings Special K protein flakes, ground in the Vitamix. 

2 tbsp Chia Seeds

40 grams Dayes, pitted

3tbsp WowButter peanut free soy butter

1/4c Walden Farms Pancake Syrup

I started by mixing the Special K cereal in the Vitamix. 

Then added my chia seeds

I emptied the contents in my KitchenAid and then put my dates with a few tablespoons of water and the walden farms syrup in the Vitamix and blended until almost smooth. I added the WowButter and blended again, then added that to the dry mix in the KitchenAid. I mixed all the ingredients until well incorporated. The mixture was exactly 300 grams, so I rolled them into 10 equal 30gram balls. Before placing them in my fridge, I ate one to make sure it was safe. It was! Crunchy from the Gia seeds, so if you don't like the crunch, you can wet your chia first for a few minutes, use only 1tbsp or omit them all together. 

Hope you enjoy! 

Chick Pea Blondies

Once upon a time I was sitting standing in my kitchen when my ravenous sweet craving came rearing it's ugly head. I walked to the pantry and eyed the peanut butter. Just last week I had an inappropriate relationship with said peanut butter jar (who shall remain nameless for now), so I knew that taking even a "tablespoon" of this magical mixture would become problematic for a girl who has been diligent about counting her macros, so, I started dreaming of healthy brownies instead. I have made my black bean brownies in the past, and that sounded great, but I didn't have the same chocolate fudge protein powder I had previously used and didn't want to be disappointed by the taste. What could I make? Chick peas! Maybe healthy cookie dough? No, still tempted to eat the entire bowl. Hmmmm, how about a healthy blondie? Would my kids try it? Sprinkles. Yes, everyone loves sprinkles! 

So, the healthy, protein, chick pea, birthday blondie was born. So good. So yummy, and I could portion them. So smart! 

I used ingredients I had in the cabinet, but believe me, you can you a huge variety of items you already have to make these. Don't be stumped by the items I've used! ...and please, share your own recipes if you have good ones!!!

Here's mine. 

🔸1 can Chick Peas, drained and rinsed. 

🍁1/2c Walden Farms Pancake Syrup (can use honey, agave, or another sweetener of choice)

🍶1/4 tsp butter extract

🍨2tbsp vanilla protein powder 

🎉3tsp Sprinkles, plus additional 1tsp for topping. 

(Optional 🍁1/4tsp maple extract)

Preheat oven to 350°. Line 8x8 pan with parchment paper or butter sides and bottom. 

Purée chickpeas until smooth texture. Mix in all ingredients. Pour in to pan and sprinkle remaining 🎉1tsp sprinkles on top. Bake in oven for 20-25 minutes depending on the gooeyness of your choice! 

Let cool for about 30 minutes. Cut in to portions, 8 or 16. I did 16 but still ate two right away!!!! Hope you enjoy! 

Visit my InstaGram @LivingSemiCrunchy

Egg Muffins

Always tweaking past recipes to make them better. I don't think these could be any better. Simple, easy and a great breakfast item to have on hand for busy morbings, camping or any other traveling. Hope you enjoy. 

🌱1 bunch green onions, chopped

🍎1 red bell pepper, diced

🍚1 cup grated cheese

🐷1/2c bacon pieces (optional)

🍳4 egg yolks

🍳8-10 egg whites. 

Preheat oven to 350°. In a separate bowl, mix egg yolks and whites. In a cupcake pan, layer green onions, bell pepper, cheese and bacon bits. Pour egg mixture over top of each "cupcake/muffin." Place in oven between 20-30 minutes depending on how crispy you want the outside. I did 30 minutes and they were delicious! 

Enjoy

Xo Shan 

Let's get personal...

Since my last Instagram post, I have received a few emails regarding my personal story and I realized I've never written out the journey I've been on over the last decade. Perhaps i didn't think anyone would really have an interest, but mostly I haven't written it because it isn't easy to talk about. Today, I will break my silence and hopefully someone can relate to my struggles and find the light that I have. 

2003 started with a break up. I had too much time to get myself in trouble. I was devoting most my waking hours to my career, and as soon as I was out of the office, I was out partying as hard as I had been working.  I was hitting the bottle hard, and not taking care of my body.  At the time I didn't realize, but I was wasting away. Coffee for breakfast, often skipping lunch or barely eating a late lunch and drinking alcohol as my dinner. I was getting to bed late and scraping myself out of bed the following morning to do it all again. The gym was a joke back then. I was definitely not working out, although I continued to pay for my 24 Hour Fitness membership just so I could say I belonged to a gym. These behaviors lasted for several months. I lost weight rapidly, eventually people started asking me if I was okay. At 5'10" I was hovering around 130 pounds. No muscle, no butt, clothes falling off. My normal size 8 jeans went down to a 4, and I thought it was great. This anorexia lasted several months until one night changed me forever. It was 4th of July and my friends were throwing a party. There was a smorgasbord of appetizers and treats. I hadn't been around so much readily available food in quite a while. I ate. I ate, and I ate, and I ate. I ate so much, that I felt terrible sick. I remember the car ride home. The sick feeling I felt from over eating, and I was hoping I would make it home and not succumb to this car sick feeling I felt. As soon as I was dropped off I ran to the bathroom, and my relief was immediate. I didn't know then that the feeling I felt would become addictive. That feeling created a new pattern of destructive behaviors. A few days of low calories, mostly from coffee and alcohol, followed by a day of binging and purging. Within a few months the effects of my behaviors had taken a toll.  Debilitating migraines, tooth decay, hair loss and my skin was grey. I had insomnia and was frequently disoriented. 

During this time I met my husband. We worked together and he quickly saw I wasn't eating well. His family owned a deli and he would bring me sandwiches at lunch. He thought he could save me with food, but that would be like saving an alcoholic with beers. The thing about eating disorders as opposed to other addictions is you cannot eliminate or avoid it. Everyone must eat. Every day. Several times per day. 

Within a couple months of marriage, I found out we were expecting. I thought carrying my precious child would stop my purging, and it did mostly. I know there was at least once I could not stay strong enough and gave in to the relieving feeling of purging. As a mom, I definitely scaled back my problem, but food was still a necessity, and if I ever over ate, I knew there was a way out from that feeling. 

Over the following 6 years or so, I yo-yo'd my weight. Gaining during pregnancies, and continuing to gain more weight even after pregnancy, at one point weighing 170lbs. I was unhappy, unhealthy, tired, and just over all miserable. 

Then in the summer of 2013, I came across the "If It Fits Your Macros" diet. During the first three months of incorporating iifym, I gained a 6 pack (okay, maybe a 2-pack), and realized I NEVER once over ate, felt "too full," or purged. It was the first time I was able to eat, without restrictions, and not fear food or what would happen when I ate. I am not "cured" from this disorder. It is with me forever, but I can control it far better than I ever have. My skin is a normal color, my teeth are the healthiest they have ever been, my hair stopped falling out, and my migraines have not made an appearance in a couple years. My over all health is noticeably better than 10 years ago. 

I have feared talking about my eating disorder for years. I'm not even sure my closest friends are privy to this information. I was ashamed and knew better, but couldn't stop, but I feel like talking about it helps hold me accountable, and also may help someone else who struggles with similar issues. 

Eating disorders are serious, life-threatening illnesses that impact 8 million people each year in the United States. If you, or someone you know, suffers from an eating disorder, visit www.ANewJourney.net or call 1-844-348-6212

Xo Shan 

Healthy Cookie Dough

I took another stab at this healthy version of my favorite sweet treat! I love cookie dough, and can't seem to keep my fingers out of the batter while mixing, so it's such a treat to be able to devour this GUILT FREE! 

This recipe can easily be adjusted with ingredients you currently have at home. 

Ingredients:

🍚1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

🍨1 scoop vanilla protein powder

🍯8 tbsp nut butter of your choice (I used Maranatha Maple Almond Butter)

🍁1/4 cup Walden Farms Pancake Syrup

(Can use honey, agave, or even maple extract)

🍞1/4 tsp butter extract (optional)

🍫14g Dark Chocolate Chips (I used Lily's sweetened with stevia)

Mix all ingredients (sans chips) together and add water if you desire a runnier texture. Fold in chocolate chips and enjoy. 

Xo Shan

Matcha Green Tea

I have a new obsession with Matcha Green Tea. I have always loved it, and am always hearing of its health benefits, but after drinking it for a few days in a row, I truly felt a difference in my evergy level. I decided to do some of my own searching to see what other benefits I was getting from this fantastic morning ritual. Here's what I found...  

Energy Booster

One of the most unexpected benefits matcha drinkers experience is a boost of energy through the day. In one study, researchers had thought that this was from the caffeine in matcha, but they found that it was actually the combination of matchas natural properties. Another recent study in particular found that matcha even improved physical endurance by 24%. Even if you arent facing a grueling workout, matcha can help you through the everyday marathon, whether its that project due the next day or getting the kids from school to soccer practice.

Calorie Burner

Already nearly calorie free, matcha is a great addition to a weight loss program by tackling the problem from both sides. It boosts metabolism and burns fat. One recent study even suggested that matcha may help burn calories by four times. At the same time, matcha does not put any stress on the body. It doesnt raise blood pressure or heart rate, making it a safe alternative to questionable quick fixes or pharmaceuticals ridden with side effects.

Detox Deluxe

Green is truly the color of health. Matcha helps to safely cleanse and purge the body of harmful elements. Chlorophyll the element that gives green tea and other plants their signature verdant color is also a powerful detoxifier, helping to eliminate both chemicals and heavy metals from the body. And because matcha is carefully shade-grown, it is substantially richer in chlorophyll than other green teas, making it a superior daily detox.

I think these added benefits are a great reason to incorporate this super tasty drink on a daily basis! 

Thanks to MatchaSource.com for the information! 😉

Sweet Eggs first thing in the morning

I have the worst habits around the holidays. It all starts with Halloween and the buckets of candy my children bring home. I try to remove as much as possible, but there is still too much and I can't pretend like it doesn't exist. I sneak one or two pieces from time to time. The sugar just sends me in to a tailspin causing cravings and withdrawals, making me want more and MORE! Last night was no exception as I made my nightly cup of tea. I just love a piece of chocolate with hot tea! Since I fell asleep shortly after having my little treat, I woke with raging cravings for sugar! I immediately wanted to walk to the cabinet where the Halloween cabinet is hidden, but I had to stop the madness. It was one of those mornings when you tell yourself it's "You vs. You" and that is what I did. While the kids were asking for their over easy eggs, I decided the best thing to do was make some delicious sweet eggs and today's creation was awesome! 

Here is the recipe;

1c egg whites (I was hungry!)

1/4tsp butter extract

1/2tsp vanilla extract

1/2tsp cinnamon

2-4 packets stevia

1/4c fat free ricotta cheese

1/4c oat bran

I scrambled all the ingredients together until well cooked and drizzled Walden Farms Pancake Syrup on the top. My kids said it smelled like french toast and loved it too! 

Spicy Cauliflower Egg White Muffins

I have been staring at a head of cauliflower in my refrigerator for the last week wondering what I was going to make. It became a necessity when I was slapped with a pungent smell after opening the fridge door last night. I love cauliflower, but could do without the smell! 

I decided to put a twist on my Saffron Cauliflower Protein Muffins (recipe in previous posts).  Something spicy! 

Ingredients: 

3/4 cauliflower head grated 

1 cup egg whites

1/2tbsp cayenne pepper

1/4 tbsp turmeric 

1/4 tbsp Mrs Dash Tomato Basil

1/2-3/4cup grated cheese of choice

Black pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350°

Mix all ingredients together and fill cupcake tin 3/4 full. I made the mistake of filling to the top. They still turned out, but not as uniformed. 

Bake at 350° for 25 minutes. Cool and enjoy. Makes 8 "muffins."

My First Half Marathon

It has been more than 24 hours since completing my first half marathon. Many emotions and thoughts have passed since running under that inflatable finish line that I longed for from the moment I started running. The first thought that crossed my mind? Why did I sign up for this? I actually PAID to do this?! Why would someone who hasn't trained for a half marathon even attempt such a task? Let me enlighten you with this crazy idea and how it came to be. 

You may recall an IG post from last month about an epic 6.5 mile run I had. As with most of my longer runs, this was spontaneous. See, I don't always LOVE running. Some days I "feel" it, and most days I am trying to occupy my thoughts with anything other than "are we done yet?" That run started out as a 3-4 miler, but I was feeling good, so I kept up for 6.5 miles. That run left me with a slightly sore back, but I continued my normal workouts, and occasional treadmill intervals, never to hit the pavement after that "epic run." 

Then my son joined the Run Club. He was so excited to run a mile and a half each week, pushing to get closer to two, that I decided a challenge was in store. That was when I signed us up for the Rocky Ridge trail 5k. He did amazing. His Run Club continued to encourage students to sign up for the Run For Education, and I almost signed us up. The main reason I was hesitant? They didn't give a finisher medal to 5k runners. (Yes, I wanted him to have one!), so somehow that lead me to consider the half. They gave finisher medals for the half marathon, and the course was almost totally flat. Why not? How hard could it be? Right? 

Fast forward to Wednesday evening. Biting my fingers as I decided to take advantage of "rollback pricing!" (I am such a sucker). What did my son say Thursday morning when I told him I signed up for the half? "But mom, that's 13 miles!!!" ️Yes, I know son. Thank you. 

The following two days were agonizing. I would lay in bed, tired, but my mind busy thinking about how I was going to be running for two hours. Yes, along with not training, I wanted to complete my first half marathon by 1:59.  Doable, right?!😳

The night before the race a got everything I needed ready. Clothes, race bib, SpiBelt, GU packs and inhaler (to appease my mother😘). I woke before the sun was up and while my family was snug in their beds. I was quiet as a mouse. I hydrated well and ate half a banana. As I gathered my things and went for my truck keys, I noticed a note my husband had left for me! 

Just what I needed to calm my nerves! I CAN do it! I WILL do it! I tucked the note into my SpiBelt. I figured I could pull it out if I really needed some motivation. 

The San Ramon Valley Run for Education began in Danville and ended by the Fire Station in San Ramon. I parked my truck and realized I needed to go to the bathroom! Off to find porta potties. Thank goodness I got in line before the masses. Hopefully all that hydrating wouldn't come back to haunt me. 

At 7am, 15 minutes before the race began, I ate my first GU packet. I read online that you should have one 15 minutes prior and at approximately mile 5 and 10, and everyone knows if you read it online, it's true😁. I knew it was going to be hot later, so opted for a tank and no jacket. To keep warm in the final minutes prior to the start, I did a little jumping up and down. I really wanted my body to stay warm. 

Finally it was 7:15, but no race horn sounded. Eventually they explained they were calibrating clocks and by 7:18am we were off. 

Here I was, the beginning of my first half marathon. I kept thinking about how much I was going to be running. Longer than I ever had. I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't in a "let's make it a big run" kinda day. Nevertheless, I kept on. I was averaging 8:50 miles for the first half of the run. A few times, I realized I was in a fog, my legs feeling heavier, and continued to push myself a little faster. By mile 10, the mile markers were obviously taking longer to reach. Was it my pace? Was I getting bored? I kept thinking about my friends that love running. I imagined they were there to tell me to suck it up. I never stopped. I ran with heavy legs and at mile 12, my husband called me. He was trying to explain where he was in relation to the finish line. Honestly, I was so confused, I just told him I would see him in 10 minutes. That last ten minutes was the longest ten minutes EVER! The course kept turning and I was now running passed the 5k runners and walkers. Children complaining about how long they had been walking. Walking! 

I rounded the final turn and at that moment the man in front of me dropped his bib. I attempted to lean down and whisk it up, and my legs buckled. I felt dizzy and realized I was about gassed out. I wanted to sprint the last quarter mile, but the tank was empty. I spotted my husband, son and daughter and choked up. Immediately I couldn't catch my breath. I tried taking a picture of the finish line, and then spotted my mom who had surprised me. 

2hours, 10 minutes, 53 seconds after beginning my first half marathon, I was finished. My calves were cramping, my hips were hurting and my legs felt like bricks, but I was done! The first couple minutes after were filled with less emotions than I had expected. I was numb and didn't really know what to do. My husband walked up with a snack and some LifeWater. I was still trying to take a deep breath. I remembered I had flip flops in the backpack my husband brought with him, so I sat on a light post and switched my shoes. Not the wisest of choices. My feet fell flat causing my calves to cramp more, and I finally noticed I was full of blisters. The half mile walk to the car was almost as bad as the last mile I ran. As we got to the car, I stepped towards the CVS to throw something away and stubbed my toe on the cement that was sticking out of the ground. That was about the moment I declared this event "checked off my bucket list." I sank in to my husband's car, really sitting down for the first time. My legs were ansy and restless, but they were happy! 

So, here I am, 3 days post race, and I feel great! Monday was full of soreness and body aches, but I was back at TRX on Tuesday (really tried to get out of that, but thankful I did it). What is the conclusion? I can't wait to do it again! I want to train properly, run with friends and cross with grace. I am truly proud of what I accomplished and know what I am capable of. YOUR BODY ACHIEVES WHAT YOUR MIND BELIEVES! 

Blueberry Protein Cakes

This combination has been my go to as a cold snack, but I decided to add some egg whites and make them in to "pancakes." The crispness was just the right touch! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 

Measurements are approximate cause I'm just reckless like that! 

🍚1/2c cottage cheese (low sodium)

🌰1/4c oat bran

🍳1/4c egg whites

🍇1/3c blueberries 

🍯1/4tsp butter extract

🍦smidgen of stevia to sweeten😉 Enjoy! 

I just cooked them in a pan like pancakes and vóila! 

Xo Shan 

Inspiration from my son

It is no surprise that the healthy lifestyle my husband and I live has rubbed off on our children. They talk about nutritious foods versus foods that don't provide many benefits, they know that exercise is a key part of a healthy lifestyle and they are always wanting to participate in the activities we are doing. Two years ago I ran a couple 10k races, and my son kept asking when he could run with me. He hadn't really ran more than a mile or two, so I really didn't want to push him in to something I thought could be too difficult for a 5 year old. Two years later, and he still begs me, so after joining his elementary schools run club, I thought it was time to put his skills to the test. I knew he could handle a 5k, so I decided to push him to do a trail run. Not just any trail run, but the Brazen Racing Rocky Ridge 5k! He didn't know what to expect, so why not start with something challenging?! He did great! Even straight up hill between miles 1-2 and him and his friend kept on trucking! I was one proud mama! Proud of his hard work and proud that I was leading by example. 

iifym and flexible dieting

I have been asked several times lately about iifym and flexible dieting. I have sent a few separate emails and realize this would probably be best explained on my blog so I didn't have to retype. Also, this gives me a great opportunity to make adjustments to my own research from time to time and fix the information which I have compiled. 

I personally love iifym because it gave me a great base that made life easier to "eat right" as opposed to a diet that I couldn't hold on to after it was over. You must first understand macronutrients before you apply iifym. Macros are the nutrients needed to fuel your body everyday. Whether you want to lose weight, maintain your weight, gain muscle, if you workout or don't workout. Science has proven that our body needs a certain amount of protein, fat, carbs and fiber every day. The amount you need may be much more than you've previously been eating, so sometimes you have to ease in to the new macro numbers. Let me give you am example 👇👇👇👇👇👇

Before I started counting macros, I was counting calories. I shot for 1200 calories and would get the lowest amount of carbs possible. Usually between 50-75 carbs MAX! I was beyond exhausted, had no energy, no patience and was just skinny. Yes, I lost weight, but if I increased calories or carbs, I gained weight, so I always went back to this 1200 cal calculation to lose weight.

When I first calculated my macros (www.iifym.com) it wanted me to eat 1900-2200 calories and 150g of carbs!!!! I had to ease in to those calculations, but by about two weeks in, I was eating 2000 calories and 150g carbs and was getting leaner! I essentially ended up gaining weight, but because of muscle. I was losing more inches and getting leaner by eating more food!

What iifym means is the body actually does not differentiate between white carbs and brown carbs. For example, you have heard brown rice is better than white rice? Well, science says all carbs break down in to glucose the same way. (Keep in mind, brown rice will absorb slower keeping you fuller longer). The point is, you can lose weight eating white rice or white flour the same as brown rice or complex carbs. Some people have taken this literally and somehow poptarts have become the mascot food of iifymers, because they can "fit" the carb grams in to their days macros. Of course a poptart will not keep you as full as a bowl of brown rice.

This is the debate about clean eating vs "flexible dieting" Of course clean eating will fuel your body the best, hitting your macros with flexible dieting will still give you the same results and allow you to not feel guilty when you indulge in a Froyo, or glass of wine, or a poptart!!!

Although I usually fuel my body with nutrient sense foods, it is still great to be able to enjoy a treat and make it fit my macros, with the added guilt I once felt from eating these foods. As a result I have less time off the wagon and more time focused on eating healthy. Essentially eating the foods to fuel my body. 

For more information and most accurate science based take in macronutrients, please refer to www.iifym.com as well as www.biolayne.com. Dr. Layne Norton has a bachelors in BioChemistry and his PhD in Nutritional Science. He has the most accurate account of the science behind fueling our bodies. 

Hazelnut Cream "Nutella"

I bought some raw hazelnuts last week and have been wondering what I wanted to do with them. I figured starting with a cream was the best base for more recipes in the future. This recipe is simple and easy for even a beginner. 

Roast 1.5c hazelnuts (approx 300g) in oven at 350° for 10-15 minutes. When they are cool, run under water in a strainer to remove as much skin as possible. I found the hazelnut skins to be a bit difficult to remove. I rubbed as much as I could and didn't stress about the rest. I couldn't tell a signifigant difference in texture. 

Blend hazelnuts with 1 cup cold water on high. I blended for about 4-5 minutes to create a frothy and creamy texture! 

If you want to make milk, you could add additional water and use a cheese cloth to separate the milk from the residue. I left mine thick and creamy and added the following. 

2tbsp raw cocao powder

4 packets stevia

1tsp vanilla extract. 

There are so many wonderful things I wanted to do with this mixture. You could place it in your ice cream maker and make "Nutella" ice cream. You could add a bit of water and make a coffee creamer. I decided to freeze the mixture in candy molds to use in my protein smoothies. 

Let me know what YOU do with your hazelnut cream! 

Vanilla Chai Overnight OIAJ

I am at that point with the foods in my cabinets when everything is nearing the end of the contents, and a serious nutrition store shopping spree is in need. I am out of all my good protein powder and flax seeds and had just enough oats to make a quick overnight oats for tomorrow morning. It had a vanilla base, so I decided to add some chai tea to mix up the flavors! Hope you like this simple concaucion. 

Start by brewing some Chai tea. I use Twinnings for most of my hot tea, and love the spice from their Chai. I only used 1/4c of water to brew, because I wanted a nice strong flavor. Allow to steep while putting together your oats. 

In a mason jar mix:

1/2c Bob's Gluten Free Oats

1/2c egg whites

1/4c Fage 0%

1tbsp Chia Seeds

1/3 Medium banana 

2tbsp Vanilla Coconut Coffee creamer

1/4tsp vanilla extract

2 packets stevia (I use Truvia)

Mix together, including the 1/4c brewed Chai. Cover and refrigerate till morning. 

Protein Fudge

I've been wanting to make protein bites (balls) for sometime now, and thought it would be easier to make fudge. I can see this recipe evolving in to something fantastic. These turned out good, but the possibilities are endless! 

🍯6tbsp coco-nut butter (I used YouFreshNaturals White Chocolate Cake Batter)

🍶1/4c SF pancake syrup (I use Walden Farms)

🍚1 stevia packet

🍨1 scoop protein powder (I used Vega plant based Vanilla)

Mix all ingredients and spread in a small container lines with parchment paper. I was actually out of parchment and used plastic wrap which worked just fine. 

Place in fridge for a few hours to set. Cut in to desired portions. I cut mine in to 16 small bites sizes. 

Macros or each piece; 

43cal 3.4f/1.9c/2.1p 

You can up the amount of protein if you choose a different powder. Vega only has 15g of protein per scoop, where as Pro7eun has 34!